What talents do you have? Are you good at singing, dancing, playing an instrument, speaking in front of people? Those are the things we usually think of when we consider talents. What about cooking, cleaning or decorating your home, playing with your kids, listening to friends when they need you? These are beautiful talents or maybe more accurately, gifts that you’ve been given. These gifts that you possess can help to make the world a better place.
We all have been given talents and gifts to give us joy and to bring others joy, peace, hope or entertainment. It’s what we do with these skills that matters. But, what if you don’t even think you have any? Your first step may be to discover them. Knowing they are there is a great first step. Now that you know, look for them. What do you enjoy doing? Why? Has anyone complimented you lately on something you’ve done? Did you recognize it as a talent or gift? What do you think about when you have a moment to yourself? Start paying attention to your life and what it is trying to tell you. There are clues all around you to help you see what you have inside of you that, if unleashed, will brighten your day or someone else’s.
As you begin noticing this beauty inside of you, give it voice. Whether it is remembering how much you loved drawing when you were a kid or how good you felt when you finally send that note to your friend/sister/mother/whomever that you’d felt impressed to send. Those thoughts are there to guide you, follow through on them. Steal away ten minutes in the next day or so and just humor yourself by writing that poem that’s been floating around in your head for days. No one HAS to even read it, but maybe someone would just love it, too!
Talents and gifts are truly blessings to us. If we develop them and share them, they will be blessings to others as well. It is not only our opportunity to express these skills, but also a responsibility to help make the world a better place if we possibly can. Even if that better place is our own little home with our own little family, who better to bless?
Saturday, January 14, 2012
Focusing Outward
Life is a funny thing. Challenges come. Stress happens. And we, like white blood cells, rush to the defense of our sanity or whatever is under attack in our life. While giving our trials attention is necessary, giving them ALL of our attention and energy is not. In fact, it is counter-productive. Balance, young grasshopper, is the key.
If our lives stop when we are faced with a problem, we will create more problems. It is the same with illness, especially chronic illness. If we become obsessed with solving our problem we will only make it worse. If you focus on your pain, does it get better? If you constantly think about how tired you are, do you feel more energetic? If you worry about all the lousy treatments and doctor appointments that riddle your schedule, do you feel happier? No. All of that makes you feel worse! I know, it may sound a bit counter-intuitive to not focus whole-heartedly on your problem. How can I solve it? you may ask. You address the possible solutions and then you get on with your life.
When I’m feeling sick and tired of feeling tired and sick, I have renewed determination to refocus my energies where they should be. After years of misery and finally seeing the light of day again, my tolerance is very small for wallowing back in the mire for too long. I force myself to wake up and figure out what I’m doing that is making me so miserable again. Once I do, I remember that only when I focus on living my life rather than just surviving it do I start to feel better. It’s the act of looking outward. When you can see the people around you, their needs, their beauty and what you can do for them do you have energy again and your pain diminishes. Get out of your head! Quit thinking about all of your limitations and start focusing on what you HAVE and what you are GRATEFUL for! That is the trick.
So, the better you get at being grateful and thinking about serving others the more manageable your own worries become. Miraculously! Just remembering that you are much more than your trial and not letting it define you is incredibly empowering. You are not your illness! It may just be the path that will lead you to who you are truly meant to be. Think about that one!
If our lives stop when we are faced with a problem, we will create more problems. It is the same with illness, especially chronic illness. If we become obsessed with solving our problem we will only make it worse. If you focus on your pain, does it get better? If you constantly think about how tired you are, do you feel more energetic? If you worry about all the lousy treatments and doctor appointments that riddle your schedule, do you feel happier? No. All of that makes you feel worse! I know, it may sound a bit counter-intuitive to not focus whole-heartedly on your problem. How can I solve it? you may ask. You address the possible solutions and then you get on with your life.
When I’m feeling sick and tired of feeling tired and sick, I have renewed determination to refocus my energies where they should be. After years of misery and finally seeing the light of day again, my tolerance is very small for wallowing back in the mire for too long. I force myself to wake up and figure out what I’m doing that is making me so miserable again. Once I do, I remember that only when I focus on living my life rather than just surviving it do I start to feel better. It’s the act of looking outward. When you can see the people around you, their needs, their beauty and what you can do for them do you have energy again and your pain diminishes. Get out of your head! Quit thinking about all of your limitations and start focusing on what you HAVE and what you are GRATEFUL for! That is the trick.
So, the better you get at being grateful and thinking about serving others the more manageable your own worries become. Miraculously! Just remembering that you are much more than your trial and not letting it define you is incredibly empowering. You are not your illness! It may just be the path that will lead you to who you are truly meant to be. Think about that one!
Permission to Live
For many of us guilt plays a central role in our lives, determining how much stage time we are allowed to give ourselves. Guilt has a productive place in our lives, but only when we do something bad. It motivates us to do better. Giving ourselves spiritual, mental, emotional, physical and social nourishment is NOT BAD! It comes down to balancing priorities and permission.
I heard someone say once that goals are things to strive for, not sticks to beat ourselves with. It is the same with guilt. It is there to keep us on a good path, not to steal our dreams or create unnecessary martyrs out of us. There is beauty in the balance of priorities where we fill ourselves with good and then serve those around us. We lift our hearts and minds so that we can lift others. It must be this way or else we run the risk of exhausting our personal resources or, as we’ve seen many times, losing our identities to the list of to-do’s and people to take care of. The topic of identity is for another time. For now, we must accept that we are worth the best efforts we can give. The best thing we can do for our loved ones is give them the best and happiest us we possibly can.
What the world needs now - at least all you wonderful, self-sacrificing, longing-to-dream people - is permission! True balance of priorities in life includes a healthy amount of permission to be you, to dream unfiltered and to accomplish your unique role in the world. Some of us need permission to be happy and fulfilled. If you need to hear it plainly, here it is. As your new friend and experienced co-survivor, I give you permission to live the life you are meant to live! Go, dream, live, love, serve and be happy!
Since you do understand that you are to take care of yourself throughout this life just as you take care of others, remember to keep guilt in its place and learn how to live your life to its fullest. Discover what fills you up inside then go and do it. Your life will be much more productive, meaningful, and happy if you stand in your place of power and be you. So, accept this permission to shine your beautiful light and then let me know what you do!
I heard someone say once that goals are things to strive for, not sticks to beat ourselves with. It is the same with guilt. It is there to keep us on a good path, not to steal our dreams or create unnecessary martyrs out of us. There is beauty in the balance of priorities where we fill ourselves with good and then serve those around us. We lift our hearts and minds so that we can lift others. It must be this way or else we run the risk of exhausting our personal resources or, as we’ve seen many times, losing our identities to the list of to-do’s and people to take care of. The topic of identity is for another time. For now, we must accept that we are worth the best efforts we can give. The best thing we can do for our loved ones is give them the best and happiest us we possibly can.
What the world needs now - at least all you wonderful, self-sacrificing, longing-to-dream people - is permission! True balance of priorities in life includes a healthy amount of permission to be you, to dream unfiltered and to accomplish your unique role in the world. Some of us need permission to be happy and fulfilled. If you need to hear it plainly, here it is. As your new friend and experienced co-survivor, I give you permission to live the life you are meant to live! Go, dream, live, love, serve and be happy!
Since you do understand that you are to take care of yourself throughout this life just as you take care of others, remember to keep guilt in its place and learn how to live your life to its fullest. Discover what fills you up inside then go and do it. Your life will be much more productive, meaningful, and happy if you stand in your place of power and be you. So, accept this permission to shine your beautiful light and then let me know what you do!
Going After Your Dreams
Growing up, people ask you who knows how many times, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” I know that I came back with a number of different dreams. I have always wanted to be a mom, but that’s not what they were asking. At one time I wanted to be an Aeronautical Engineer because I love space - thinking about it, learning about it, looking at it, whatever! Other times I wanted to be a dancer or a singer or an artist. At one point I even wanted to be a martial artist like Bruce Lee and Jackie Chan, thanks to my big brothers. :) What did you want to be?
Then life happens. Perhaps it’s a job that just brings in money, but you are not really excited about. It may be a family that now requires much of your extra energy. Or like many of us, it’s a surprise obstacle that screeches life to a halt, such as a chronic illness. What then? Do your dreams suddenly disappear? Do you just consciously give up on them? Do you think hopefully that someday you will still get to them? Or do you keep the dream alive even if it’s in baby steps?
Going after your dreams is a great vehicle to stay alive. Personally, if I don’t have something meaningful to strive for, I start to deteriorate. Suddenly, I am feeling all the aches, pains, fatigue and stresses of life even more acutely. I lose hope of being strong and active again. I even forget what it feels like to be happy. My family begins losing their mom, bit by bit. BUT, if I can have a project to work on that is uniquely me, that pulls beauty from inside of me, I feel alive. I don’t focus on the yuk as much and start to feel better, more connected to my family and friends, and even valuable to society. I actually enjoy living.
So, for me, going after my dreams is essential! I must always be working on something that is meaningful to me. Something that I can create or improve or use my gifts and talents to bring joy to my life and the lives of those around me. Then, my family sees the real me, the happy me, the me that is loving them and living my dreams - chronic illness or not!!
Then life happens. Perhaps it’s a job that just brings in money, but you are not really excited about. It may be a family that now requires much of your extra energy. Or like many of us, it’s a surprise obstacle that screeches life to a halt, such as a chronic illness. What then? Do your dreams suddenly disappear? Do you just consciously give up on them? Do you think hopefully that someday you will still get to them? Or do you keep the dream alive even if it’s in baby steps?
Going after your dreams is a great vehicle to stay alive. Personally, if I don’t have something meaningful to strive for, I start to deteriorate. Suddenly, I am feeling all the aches, pains, fatigue and stresses of life even more acutely. I lose hope of being strong and active again. I even forget what it feels like to be happy. My family begins losing their mom, bit by bit. BUT, if I can have a project to work on that is uniquely me, that pulls beauty from inside of me, I feel alive. I don’t focus on the yuk as much and start to feel better, more connected to my family and friends, and even valuable to society. I actually enjoy living.
So, for me, going after my dreams is essential! I must always be working on something that is meaningful to me. Something that I can create or improve or use my gifts and talents to bring joy to my life and the lives of those around me. Then, my family sees the real me, the happy me, the me that is loving them and living my dreams - chronic illness or not!!
Make Your Mess Your Message
Once you have worked through a personal challenge for a while, one that you’ve really had to fight that has rewarded you with some beautiful insights and helpful life tools, you may feel the drive to aid someone else in a similar struggle. What a wonderful desire! Bless you for that!
In the early stages of my health saga, I heard someone say, “Make your MESS your MESSAGE.” I can’t remember for sure, but I think it was a guest on the Oprah Show. Even though I was overwhelmed by my own mess at the time, this message resonated with me. And though I didn’t formally consider acting on it, I felt a draw to the idea. I longed for the capability to help someone else who was struggling as I was. I realized that I yearned to relieve the burdens that others were feeling. I wanted to bring them hope and comfort from their worries.
So, not that I have everything figured out - not by a long shot - I am writing this blog in the hope that what I have learned and discovered while living with this chronic challenge might just help someone out there in cyberspace. I want to share those insights and revelations that I have learned and that have helped me in my journey over the last 17 years. Hopefully, something that I write or provide on this blog will lift a burden, inspire hope or encourage real living again in someone who is reading this. And, if you want to share something that has helped you through your challenges, please email me your thoughts or your story and I will pass them on. Your voice might just be what someone reading this needs to hear!
In the early stages of my health saga, I heard someone say, “Make your MESS your MESSAGE.” I can’t remember for sure, but I think it was a guest on the Oprah Show. Even though I was overwhelmed by my own mess at the time, this message resonated with me. And though I didn’t formally consider acting on it, I felt a draw to the idea. I longed for the capability to help someone else who was struggling as I was. I realized that I yearned to relieve the burdens that others were feeling. I wanted to bring them hope and comfort from their worries.
So, not that I have everything figured out - not by a long shot - I am writing this blog in the hope that what I have learned and discovered while living with this chronic challenge might just help someone out there in cyberspace. I want to share those insights and revelations that I have learned and that have helped me in my journey over the last 17 years. Hopefully, something that I write or provide on this blog will lift a burden, inspire hope or encourage real living again in someone who is reading this. And, if you want to share something that has helped you through your challenges, please email me your thoughts or your story and I will pass them on. Your voice might just be what someone reading this needs to hear!
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